REVIEW: I Ain’t Afraid of No Stage Fright

by Monica Castillo

I had a dream this movie would be — So different from the shit I’m watching! A dream of a funny yet bloody musical horror comedy. But now that dream is dead, and all is left is Stage Fright.

The curtain rises: Minnie Driver plays a Christine Daaé-esque soloist in the middle of a production resembling “Phantom of the Opera.” She returns to the dressing room after the show and to her children before sending them away to reunite with a masked lover. Said lover murders her violently, and then the movie’s title cuts in. Ten years later, the two traumatized, now-teenaged orphans are stuck working in the kitchen at the fringe of the theater world: kiddie-camp summer stock. Camilla (Allie MacDonald) and Buddy (Douglas Smith) have since been taken in by their mother’s producer, Roger McCall (a delightfully exasperated Meat Loaf). Desperate to follow her singing heritage, Camilla auditions for the camp revival of her mother’s infamous play. Nothing about this could possibly go wrong.

Grade: D

Click here to read the rest of Monica’s negative review.